Grace, Grit, and the Quitting Days

If I’m being perfectly honest, there are days when I want to quit, throw in the towel, hang up my jersey, and head for the locker room.

I get tired out on the field; I get weary of playing; and I get downright overwhelmed by the toughness of the game.

MANY days, I find myself begging for 4 Quarters of rest and a large drink labeled “comfort and ease.” It’s true; I do. And this past week was filled a bunch of those days.

I didn’t want to do Foster Care anymore; I wanted to be done.

I didn’t want all of the visits. I didn’t want all of the appointments. I didn’t want all of the calls and all of the e-mails. I didn’t want the constant advocating. I didn’t want the continuous stress of navigating delicate situations. And I didn’t want all of the time and all of the travel that it all requires.

Multiple times. Multiple days. I felt DONE.

I was over the serving; I was over the loving; and I was WAAAAAYYYYY over the “baby stage (been in that stage since June of 2017 when we got our first foster baby). Truly, I was feeling D-O-N-E.

And on one of those days when I was tempted to throw the ball to the ref and head for the bench, the Lord brought me to Exodus 13 and 14.

Because God (in His impeccable timing) knew from the beginning of time (mind-blowing) that I would be studying the book of Exodus during this season of life, and He knew that I would need to hear the very words from these two, specific chapters that He inspired thousands of years ago. AMAZING.

In short summary, Pharaoh has given the Israelites the “boot” from Egypt, and the people are in the middle of the wilderness. And where does God take this large group of newly, delivered slaves?

It says in 13:17, “God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near…But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness.”

He could have taken the short-cut, but He doesn’t.

Why?

Because He says in 13:17, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.”

Did you catch that? He KNEW that the people would see these sword-wielding, war-hungry giants (recall flannel graph Goliath) and become scared.

And so instead of taking them on the “quicker walk,” He takes them on the “longer walk.” Why? Because He knows. 

And where does He take them?

He takes them to an absolutely vulnerable place…a place where they were exposed–a place where their backs were against the sea–a place where they had no place to run and no place to hide. Truly, it would have been viewed as a massive, military mistake.

Exodus 14:3 says, “For Pharaoh will say of the people of Israel, ‘They are wandering in the land; the wilderness has shut them in.’ ”

Very literally, God leads them to a place where Pharaoh would think, “What a bunch of idiots!” And because he does think this, Pharaoh takes his big men with their big swords in their big chariots, and he goes after these trapped wanderers.

So God takes these people (the ones He claims to love and treasure), and He leads them the LONG WAY AROUND to a VERY SCARY PLACE.

Sounds loving, huh? Well, the Israelites certainly didn’t think so! Which is exactly why they unleash their furry and fear onto Moses in 14:10-12, making all kinds of accusations and claims against God.

Why have you taken us here to die? What have you done to us? It would have been better if we had stayed slaves! Did you take us out to the wilderness to die because there were no graves left in Egypt? Leave us alone! 

Seriously, read it for yourself. These people were red-hot scared.

And what does the Lord say to the people about why He took them the LONG WAY AROUND to a VERY SCARY PLACE?

He says in 14:13, 17: “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent…I will get the glory…and they shall know that I am the LORD when I gave gotten glory.”

He took them the LONG WAY AROUND to a VERY SCARY PLACE because He wanted them to know His power, His provision, and His person! 

Friends, he brought them out so that He could bring them into worshipful-relationship with Him!

And just as Pharaoh and his army of men are approaching, the Lord does exactly what He promised.

Exodus 14:19 says, “Then the angel of God who was going before the host of Israel moved and went behind them…and the LORD  threw the Egyptians into the midst of the sea…but the people of Israel walked on dry ground through the seas, the waters being a wall to them on their right hand and on their left.”

Did you READ that?!?!

The God who was going before them (leading them out) moves to the back and leads them in! Very truly, He does exactly what He states in Psalm 139:5, “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”

It was God that was going before them in the LONG WAY AROUND and to the VERY SCARY PLACE, and then it was God who went behind them! Never leaving their side, never removing His gaze…He fights for His people, delivers His people, and saves His people when their backs are against a wall of water.

And as I read those words on one of the many days where I was questioning the long-hard journey to the very-scary places of foster care, I felt a peace of joy rush over me.

Jessica, I won’t lead you where I won’t go before you, and I won’t lead you where I won’t go behind you. 

And then I went back and read the words of 13:14, “By a strong hand the Lord brought us out…”

It is the Lord’s journey, and it is the Lord’s battle. And it will be the Lord’s strong hand that wins the battle and moves the waters. And when He does (in His timing), I will know that the deliverer was ONLY HIM. 

So what do I need to do as I follow Him the LONG WAY AROUND into the VERY SCARY PLACES?

I need to trust…to be still…to follow…to obey…and to watch.

Because though He doesn’t promise an easy, fear-free journey, He does promise to be our strong arm of salvation.

Friend, I don’t know what road you are walking and what weary you are facing, but may I encourage you to play the GAME with His power, with His provisions, and with His person? Because THAT is something we can rest in…THAT is something we can hang our hats of faith on…and THAT will be the very thing that gives us both the GRIT and the GRACE to keep on, keepin’ on!