It’s the night before 1st grade and the thought that keeps running through my mama head is…
Littles Don’t Keep.
Wasn’t it just yesterday I was on bed rest, waiting for this little boy to arrive? Wasn’t I just crying on the recliner because I couldn’t figure out the whole breastfeeding thing? Wasn’t I just sitting in the doctor’s office, worried sick because he wasn’t gaining weight and wasn’t following the stupid “curve.” Wasn’t I just having a panic attack over his refusal to drink milk…like from a bottle or a boob? Wasn’t I just laying on the floor, coaxing him to roll over and sit up? Wasn’t I just filming his first steps? Wasn’t I just a basket case over having to leave him and go back to work part-time? Wasn’t I just pureeing squash and washing poop-stained onesies? Wasn’t I just following him all over the park, watching him waddle and stumble, climb and jump? Wasn’t I just elated-screaming over his first, spoken word? Wasn’t I just moving him from his crib to his “big boy bed?” Wasn’t I just teaching him his ABC’s and 123s? Wasn’t I just freaking out and googling things like, “Why doesn’t my baby want to cuddle?” Wasn’t I just playing “fireman,” running around the house and putting out fires? Wasn’t I just helping him navigate his frustrations over having to leave his “blankie” in his bed during the day? Wasn’t I just teaching him how to manage his emotions, rather than roaring like a wild beast or screaming “No way, no way, no way?!?!” Wasn’t I just soothing his tears over his bike riding fears? Wasn’t I just signing him up for his first preschool, soccer league? Wasn’t I just building train tracks and making Duplos buildings?
Wasn’t I just doing all of these things…like yesterday?
Seriously. Littles don’t keep.
And as I have spent the past few days mulling over memories and thanking God for the past six years, the good and the hard, I had this overwhelming desire to write and encourage you, mama (whoever you might be).
Maybe you’re a mama who is in the trenches of sleepless nights, teething babies, and toddler tantrums.
Maybe you’re a mama who is fretting over weight gain, discipline issues, and the decision to wean or continue.
Maybe you’re a mama who is smack in the middle of eating battles, potty training accidents, and repeated cup spills?
Maybe you’re a mama who is feeling lonely, defeated, and overwhelmed with the routines, the day-in and the day-out.
Maybe you’re a mama who is baffled by the whole “schedule thing” or fed up with the whole “vaccination thing.”
Maybe you’re a mama who is battling guilt, dealing with postpartum depression, or raging with frustration over your little one’s refusal to sleep, eat, and obey.
Maybe you’re a mama who is prying scared hands off your legs and anxious fingers off your arms.
Maybe you’re a mama who is begging for patience, a break, a cup of coffee, and adult conversation.
Maybe you’re a mama who is questioning your abilities, your discernment, and your role as mama.
Maybe you’re a mama who wonders and worries if this season you’re in will last forever.
Mama, I don’t know what you’re facing today and fearing tomorrow, but I do know this…
Littles don’t keep.
So, mama, whatever age you’re in and whatever stage you’re walking right now, I pray you’ll remember that even if tomorrow holds the same, the next years probably won’t. And though you are absolutely entitled to have the feelings you have today (this mama won’t tell you how to feel; I blogged about that one time), I pray you’ll find beauty within the hard and lovely in the midst of your difficult. I pray you’ll hold fast to these fleeting moments and make memories in the midst of it all (good, bad, and ugly alike). I pray you’ll cherish the precious, pray over the hard, and praise Him for these sweet, ever-changing moments. And I pray you will hold those precious souls tight, and maybe even a little longer than necessary, because mama…
Littles don’t keep.