Caden and Evie,
Your daddy and I were worried about how you would feel about our decision to foster. We were worried you might feel displaced, resentful, and maybe even jealous. We were concerned that it might be a hard transition, that it might drastically change our family dynamic, and that you’d possibly rebel against the whole idea. We worried you might not “attach,” and we were concerned you’d struggle with new roles and new spaces on our “family couch.” We were concerned that our decision to love might make you feel unloved, confused, and maybe a bit angry. We had concerns about the changes it would bring to our family time, our schedule, and how it would affect the attention you receive. Suffice to say, we had a few concerns about this decision.
And yet…we did it anyway.
We did it because not only did we feel led to open our hearts and home, but we felt nudged to let the Gospel lead our decisions, not our fears and not your comfort. We made a commitment to let go of our need for safe and secure in order to make a commitment to trust and love. We made the choice to walk this road as a family unit in hopes that we would grow, learn, and change as a team. And lastly, we felt confident that as much as a little soul might need a foster daddy and a foster mommy, they might also need a foster brother and a foster sister.
And wow, we’ve been utterly and entirely blown away by your response…by your love…by your relentless sacrifice and flexibility. There’s so much we could say about your response and how you’ve transitioned and handled it all, but I decided I wanted to keep track of the things you’ve said. Because let’s be honest, your words speak for themselves and they speak better than I could speak on your behalf.
So kids, whether she stays forever or leaves tomorrow, I wanted you to have your own words to serve as a reminder for how much she’s meant to you–a reminder of your deep love for her–and a reminder of the beauty that can grow when you step out in faith.
In this post, I’ve changed her name to “sweet girl” to protect her identity, but let’s be honest…that’s one of your very favorite names for her.
I love you. All three of you. And always will.
- “Mommy, if ‘sweet girl’ has to go back to her home, do you promise to take lots of pictures and paste them all over our house?”
- “Will we get to keep ‘sweet girl’ for a long time or a short time? I hope it’s a long time.”
- “If we have to give ‘sweet girl’ back, I can’t wait to get the next baby and love them.”
- “Mommy, I know she’s not my official sister, but she is still a sister in my heart.”
- “One time at school I wrote a bad sentence. I said I had only one sister, but then I realized that was not true. I pretty much have two.”
- “I think ‘sweet girl’ loves you, Mommy. She always looks at you like she loves you a lot.”
- “I hope God decides that she should live here forever.”
- “When ‘sweet girl’ grows up, I hope she always remembers me.”
- “Do you think we’ll get to see ‘sweet girl’ walk and say her first words? I really hope so.”
- “I hope ‘sweet girl’ gets to stay until Christmas because I want her to get presents from under our tree.”
- “I can’t imagine how hard that would be if I were ‘sweet girl.’ I can’t imagine how it would feel to not see your other family.”
- “If ‘sweet girl’ stays with us forever, I am going to walk her to school on her very first day and hold her hand the whole way.”
- “I think we would have a big hole if ‘sweet girl’ leaves, but I also think you wouldn’t be so busy.”
- “If I took ‘sweet girl’ to the circus, I could just sit her in the middle of the tent, and she could blow bubbles and spit for everyone.”
- “I am not going to my bed until ‘sweet girl’ comes to bed. I don’t sleep without her.”
- “I think our family feels better with ‘sweet girl.’ “
- “When ‘sweet girl’ is gone, I feel like there is a giant hole.”
- “I didn’t think I would like two sisters, but it’s been pretty awesome.”
- “Mommy, Evie and I are playing house and caring for our baby. We love having a baby to take care of.”