We were pulling up to T.J. Maxx, and I had just put the Camry in park when my blonde-headed baby (a mere 2.5 years young) says, “Mommy, I like the honest song.”
“What, baby?”
“I like the honest song.”
Still confused, I asked again.
“Honey, what are you talking about? Mommy doesn’t understand you.”
“I like that music song in the car. I like the honest song!!!”
And all of a sudden, the pieces connected and my brain registered what she meant by “The Honest Song.”
Francesca Battistelli.
The song that had just been playing on the radio; the song that I had apparently tuned out as we drove from the soccer field to the front door of T.J.’s; the song that I have heard a bazillion times but have never honestly heard; the song that I think more of us need to hear…to sing…to live.
“If We’re Honest.”
And as I read through the lyrics tonight, giving my heart time to ingest them…allowing my soul space to acknowledge their truth…I realized that too often than not, I don’t always like “The Honest Song.”
Why?
Because sometimes I don’t want to admit the truth. Because sometimes I don’t want to walk in the scary light of exposure. Because sometimes I just REALLY DON’T want to do the REALLY PAINFUL WORK of tearing down the walls of my pride, allowing others a front seat to my “hurt” and my “hard.” Because sometimes I don’t want to do ALL OF THAT in front of a godly friend…like I chose to do last Tuesday.
Why?
Because…
Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I’m a mess and so are you
We’ve built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do
Because if we’re honest…
Sometimes we don’t like the people we are–the sinners we are. We aren’t proud of our choices, our lusts, and our struggles. We don’t like the ugly yuck of our hearts or the nasty stench of our flesh. We don’t like it because it’s not pretty…or packaged…or perfect. It’s hard, and it’s dark, and it’s messy, and we fear letting others see our hard places, our messy spaces, and our dark heart-chases.
And so…we lie, and we hide, and we build all kinds of walls around the dirtiest parts of our deepest struggles.
Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine
‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy’s waiting on the other side
If we’re honest
If we’re honest
Because if we’re honest…
Sometimes we are downright scared of our troubling thoughts; we’re ashamed by our feelings; and we’re guilt-stricken over our past, present, and potential behaviors. We don’t believe that brokenness is the start of healing; we don’t imagine that hurts can heal; and we certainly don’t trust that mercy and love are waiting on the other side.
And so…we isolate, and we pretend, and we live a life that is anything and everything…except real and free.
Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay
our secrets down at the cross, at the cross
Because if we’re honest…
Sometimes we don’t really like the kids we’re raising, and
Sometimes we don’t really respect the spouse we’ve married, and
Sometimes we don’t really value the job we’ve chosen, and
Sometimes we don’t really appreciate the body we’ve been given, and
Sometimes we don’t really enjoy the friends we’ve made, and
Sometimes we don’t really love the life we’ve been living, and
Sometimes we don’t really trust that HE is still good, and still kind, and still there even when…
our bank accounts our small and strained, and even when our relationship statuses are non-existent and not-the-same as theirs, and even when our health situations are waning and wobbling, and even when our churches are frustrating and fickle, and even when our past and present are riddled with immoral motivations and ungodly choices.
And so…we live life afraid–cowering in corners where we hold our struggles close and hold our freedom hostage.
BUT WHAT IF…what IF…we stopped hiding from ourselves?
What IF we stopped running from our sinful yuck and our less-than-perfect?
What IF we stopped fearing and started sharing?
What IF we shared openly with a friend, exposing our struggles?
What IF we shared honestly with a spouse, revealing our sin?
What IF we shared vulnerably with a mentor, uncovering our baggage?
What IF we were more open, and more honest, and more vulnerable with HIM, laying it all out…laying it all down…and letting it all go?
WHAT IF…we spent our lives singing and living, “THE HONEST SONG?”
It would change our lives
It would set us free
It’s what we need to be
-Francesca Battistelli
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