If You Never Marry

Sweet Evie Girl,

The cashier at Kroger today was so incredibly smitten by you; she really, really was.

“Oh, she is just TOO adorable!!! She is SO beautiful! Oh my! Someday, someone is gonna snatch her right up.” As she scanned our parsley and bagged our carrots, she spewed a whole bunch of sweet sentiments your way. I honestly can’t remember them all.

So why do I tell you this? Why take the time to write about this grocery store encounter on aisle 3?

Because she said something that may or may not be your future, and I wanted to take time to write about it now.

“Someday, someone is gonna snatch her right up.”

I know those words were uttered in such sincerity, not even a hint or motivation of anything but kindness as she spoke. But as I thought more and more about those words, my mama-heart wanted to pen you a few reminders.

First of all, I want you to know that I agree with the kind cashier. You are absolutely adorable and beyond beautiful. YOU ARE. And not because you have smooth, silky hair and soft, creamy skin…and not because you have beautiful, blue eyes and a perfectly-placed dimple on the left side of your sweetly-shaped mouth…and not because you have a cute, little bum or sweet, little curves.

You are beautiful because God made you.

You are beautiful because God fashioned you in His image.

You are beautiful because you are His intricately-crafted creation, and He sings over you.

You are beautiful because He has a plan for you and a call over your life.

You are beautiful, not because you possess worldly beauty, but because you are His heavenly masterpiece and His cherished treasure.

Secondly, I want you to know that though I agree with the cashier, that one day you may marry, I pray that you will never be “snatched up.” In fact, I hope and pray that this soul who may win your heart and earn your favor someday, will be a man who follows after Jesus and pursues (with gentle intentionality) your sweet and treasured heart. I pray you will be sought after, not “snatched;” I pray you will be wooed, not “caught;” and I pray you will be loved, not “bagged.” In fact, I pray you will cherish yourself as the lovely masterpiece God intended and not ever, EVER feel like you have to sell yourself out, change who you are, or become something you aren’t…in order to be “had.” I pray you will have wisdom when you choose, discernment as you look, and contentment as you trust God with your future–spouse or not. And I pray, when and if you find this special man, you will joyfully, peacefully, and faithfully allow yourself to be loved; no snatching required.

And lastly, I want you to know that if you do not marry one day, that is okay. In fact, it is MORE THAN OKAY. Because beauty doesn’t determine marriage and being “adorbs” won’t ensure a husband. Not. at. all. In fact, Evie Rae, I pray that if marriage isn’t in your future or on God’s agenda for your life, you would know and trust that your identity will never, and should NEVER, be found in a man or fulfilled in a marriage. I pray you will know that though marriage is a sweet, sweet blessing, it isn’t the end-all, be-all. I pray you will trust and believe (in faith) that being a “Mrs.” doesn’t give you any more value than being a “Ms.” because Evie, you will never be “more-than” or “less-than” if you marry or don’t. I pray you will believe and learn that happiness and intimacy can be found in all kinds of godly relationships, certainly not limited to a bride and groom commitment. I pray you will live your life with gusto and passion, joy and peace, fruitfulness and faithfulness… even if you never wear a ring on your left, index finger. I pray you will long for the heavenly marriage ceremony to come more than you long to walk down an earthly aisle. I pray you will always know and always trust that your dad and I have all kinds of dreams and hopes for you, and “getting married” isn’t at the top of the list. Sweetheart, we will not be disappointed in you (not even a little) if you never wear a poofy-white dress or carry a large-draping bouquet this side of heaven. Not even at all. Though we will be thrilled to host a reception someday, we will also be thrilled (not a bit less thrilled) to love in you ALL THE OTHER WAYS that God has gifted you and bestowed grace upon your life. And I pray that whether you remain unmarried by your choice or unmarried by HIS, I pray you will always know just how adorable…and just how beautiful…and just how dearly, dearly loved you are.

And that, my dear daughter, is why I chose to write you today.





2 thoughts on “If You Never Marry

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