You Might Be A Mom If: 36 Things (Part 2)

For Part 1, click here.

  1. If it’s 4:58 PM, and you just put on deodorant for the first time…all day.
  2. If you hear your name 7,373 times a day.
  3. If your hear your name being screamed (from the other side of the house) 3,462 times a day.
  4. If everyone in the house believes you know where every single belonging is…at ALL times…of EVERY day (“MOMMY! Where are my shin guards?!”) <<<#3 is happening
  5. If you fix the couch cover 37 times a day.
  6. If you always have a library fine on your account.
  7. If you find random pieces of Scotch tape on your socks.
  8. If a mermaid shares the space near your face wash.
  9. If you loathe folding finding socks.
  10. If you have no room for an artsy coffee mug in your cupboards because there are 28 plastic, colored bowls lining the shelves.
  11. If you are searching for Star Wars figurines in the middle of your yard in the middle of the night.
  12. If you know the difference between fake cries and real cries, fake tears and real tears.
  13. If you can never find the remote control.
  14. If you open your cupboard and see a 5 lb bag of Sour Patch Kids.
  15. If you take a garbage bag to your house every three months (Where does ALL the little, plastic junk come from?!?!?!?).
  16. If string cheese is on your grocery list.
  17. If every light is on in your house.
  18. If you wash clothes that are actually clean.
  19. If your toothpaste tube looks like a war zone.
  20. If you have hair clips in your pockets, in your car, and on every counter space in your home.
  21. If you put bowls of food in the freezer before serving them.
  22. If you add water to every cup of juice.
  23. If you find Legos in your slippers.
  24. If you don’t even bother cleaning the windows in your car.
  25. If you are wondering why you even bought those organization tubs in the first place.
  26. If you walk into Meijer with two pennies in your hand.
  27. If you know where every single sample stand in Costco is and the quickest path to reach all of them.
  28. If family members hand you weird pieces of skin that have been pulled from their bodies.
  29. If trimming nails seems like a precursor to WWIII.
  30. If dentist appointments (alone) feel relaxing.
  31. If you have ever told someone that something “doesn’t work anymore” because you don’t want to pay $9.00 to replace the batteries.
  32. If you open your mouth and your mother or father comes out.
  33. If your favorite clothes have no zippers.
  34. If family members are concerned that you have “worms” crawling on your belly.
  35. If you look in the mirror and realize that there are stickers on your earlobes…from yesterday.
  36. If you hear someone roar, “I’m gonna eat your pickles!!!”


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