Eating Without the LIGHT

I am ABSOLUTELY loving this age and stage that our littlest is in–absolutely LOVING it. The words are becoming sentences; the sentences are becoming intentional thoughts; and the intentional thoughts are hitting me square in the “thinker.”

I love those moments when kids utter the profound and yet are completely unaware as to how profound their simple sentences are to the listening ears of the adult beside them, how profoundly the Spirit uses their words to trigger our thoughts and tug at our older hearts.

I love how God uses it ALL; the biggest of thoughts from the smallest of souls. 

Rewind to this past Tuesday as I was burning quesadillas for lunch. Yes, burning them. Like they should have been “tossed kind of burning,” but I mercilessly opted for “quesadilla surgery” with a butter knife, lopping off parts of the charred tortilla because mama just DID NOT want to re-make the lunch. DID NOT.

So as I placed the “malformed-illas” with a side of sliced carrots in front of my daughter, you can imagine my shock when she yelled, “We cannot eat without the light, Mommy!!” 

WHEW. I dodged a lunch-bullet. Child was not (I repeat, NOT) complaining about the ugly-fugly lunch in front of her.

“Honey, what did you say?”

“We CANNOT eat without the light!!” She was emphatic, and I was clueless.

“Evie, what are you talking about?”

Pointing to the Advent candles in the middle of the table, she forcefully repeated (for a third time), “We CANNOT eat without the light!!!” 

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

I smiled, reassured her that we could still eat without the candles being lit, and then went ahead and lit them anyway (December’s too short and lit candles are pretty). And honestly, I didn’t think about it a whole lot after that. Lunch went on and the dysfunctional was consumed. Kids were full; mama was pleased; and nap time was on the horizon.

But as I poured my second cup of coffee that afternoon and glanced over at the candles on the table, my heart started churning.

“We CANNOT eat without the light!!!” 

As I thought and as I prayed, I found myself in complete agreement with our Evie-girl.

And then I remembered a prayer I had prayed earlier in the week, a prayer I have continued to pray throughout this season in my life. A prayer that doesn’t sound “all that pretty,” but gets to the heart of my yuck, the yuck of my heart.

Lord, help me to become increasingly disgusted with anything I try to fill my life with…that isn’t YOU.

She was right; she IS right.

We CANNOT truly eat…and be satisfied… without the LIGHT.

We CANNOT truly eat…and receive sustenance… without the LIGHT.

We CANNOT truly eat…and find sufficiency…without the LIGHT.

 

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the LIGHT of the world.” John 8:12

And as I thought about the TRUTH of my daughter’s unintended words, I ran through a mental list of the ways that I sometimes try to “satisfy my hunger.”

In my relationships

In my job performance

In my good deeds

In my children

In my received affirmation

In my “stuff”

In my health 

In my husband

In my friendships

I could probably add to the list.

But as I think about those “things” that feign filling in my life, I can’t help but think of all the many ways that those “things” never truly “satisfy the hunger”— the hunger in my heart, the hunger in my mind, and the hunger in my soul.

ALL of them…every single one of them…EVERY single time…falls short.

Those “things” that promise a quenched appetite and a full heart only leave me wanting more, chasing more….empty, hungry, and dissatisfied.

If you think about it, 2016 is no different than Eden. And the “things” are no different than “the apple.” The lies are the same; the enemy is the same; and the same heart-issue is at stake.

IS HE ENOUGH? 

WILL WE TRUST HIM TO FILL US?

And as I’ve grown in my awareness of those empty lies and distorted truths, I’ve become not only more and more aware of my absolute NEED to be fed and filled by the ONLY ONE WHO CAN and DOES, but I’ve also become more and more disgusted and disenchanted by the “other things.”

My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. Jeremiah 2:13

How true. How very, very true.

We may not be seeking “empty cisterns” in 2016, but I know a bunch of other “things” that we “dig” and “devour” that leave us hungry, empty-handed, and wanting more. 

So what does God say about “feasting on the Light?”

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And delight yourself in abundance. Isaiah 55:1-2

Evie was right, MORE than right.

We CANNOT eat (and be forever satisfied by what is good) without the LIGHT!!!

Lord, help us to become increasingly disgusted with anything we try to fill our lives with…that isn’t YOU.

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