Caden and Evie,
I hear it all the time. I see it all the time. I feel it all the time.
At parks, at play-dates, in the church hall-way and in the public restroom. I hear it at the gym, at the grocery store, on the TV, and on social media. It’s in Target, at Chick-fil-A, in Kroger, and at the local park, library, gas station, and toy store. It’s in books, on the cover of magazines, in advertisements, and on the big screen.
IT is everywhere.
And what is the IT I refer to…the IT I hear, see, and feel?
It’s the IT of being “Super Mom.”
And though “Super Mom” can look like all kinds of things, the IT seems to pervade our culture, our lingo, and our minds. IT seems to be an unspoken, all-consuming, overwhelming idea that seems to distract, discourage, and defeat a whole lot of mamas. IT seems to be rather elusive and yet incredibly pervasive, and IT always seems to change depending on WHO you’re with, and WHAT you watch, and WHERE you are.
The IT can parade itself in put-together outfits and flawless make-up. The IT can appear to be “chill,” “controlled,” or even “concerned.” The IT can look like a meal planner, an organic snack-giver, or a gym-goer. The IT can look organized, hipster, home-maker, or Pinterest-perfect. The IT can look intentional, prepared, or calm as a cucumber. The IT can look like being on-time, being showered, or being kid-centered. The IT can look like a messy bun, curled hair, or a greasy pony. The IT can stay at home, work full time, or do something in between. The IT can read books, research the internet, or fly by the seat of the pants.The IT can child-wean, co-sleep, breast-feed, or baby-wear. The IT can look like June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Daniel Tiger’s mom, or even Lorelai Gilmore.
The IT can be so. so. SO. many things.
And as I thought about the IT today and whether or not I was or wasn’t IT, I realized that the IT can be rather stupid, and incredibly silly, and maybe even a whole lot sinful if my identity is found in being and maintaining whatever the IT is.
And in all honesty, I don’t want to waste my motherhood wandering, worrying, and watching to see if I am enough of IT.
Because in all honesty, if I want to be SUPER at anything…
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I don’t have all my junk together–that I fail and fall and then fall again and then a little more.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that you kids could easily become an idol for me–that I love you so much that I could easily fall prey to finding my identity
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I have limits and boundaries–that I can’t be all things to all people and be in all places for all things.
I wanna be super at acknowledging where I end and you begin–that there are separate parts of you and separate parts of me that don’t have to overlap and probably shouldn’t, and that’s okay.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that there is much for me to learn–that I don’t know it all or understand it all, and that there is growth to be had each and every day.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that even though I’m broken, I’m still used–that God is in the business of using cracked pots, broken mirrors, and imperfect witnesses.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I am going to sin against you–that I recognize and realize that my mess is sometimes going to spill over and onto you.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I not only have weaknesses but blind spots–that there are spaces and places that I don’t even know where I need grace.
I wanna be super at acknowledging my need for forgiveness–that I frequently and consistently offer an opportunity for you (and others) to share those blind spots and those “not-so-blind” spots.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that the Gospel isn’t something you hear but something you do–that the Truths on the pages become the behaviors of my life.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I’m not going to please everyone–that my aim and purpose is not OTHERS-centered but rather HIM-centered.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I need help–that my abilities to live life this side of heaven (on my own and outside of community) are futile and foolish.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that things are just things–that souls matter more than the stuff and that bank accounts will never save or satisfy.
I wanna be super at acknowledging the purpose of my temple–that the image in the mirror can be a distraction from the ONE who resides in my temple and wants to use my temple.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that there are a million and one ways to please God–that the ways are endless and the paths are varied.
I wanna be super at acknowledging that I’m not God–that there is ONLY ONE infallible, infinite being that is the SUPER IT of all the things that I will never, EVER be.
I wanna be super at acknowledging my continual need for grace and mercy–that anything SUPER in me is because of Him.
I wanna be the IT that He wants me to be–for Him and for you.
Those are the ITS that I wanna to be.
Love you to the moon and back…and then again once more.