Our Pumpkin Patch

I can’t really remember where it all started and how it all grew, but I know it’s been a seed by seed, moment by moment process. It’s been a “coming-into,” an “accepting,” a “walking forward”…an evolving growth that has taken root in our hearts over the past several years.

Conversations. Prayers. Waiting. Spirit prodding. Fears. More conversations. More prayers. More fears. Conviction. Movement. Waiting. Tears. A bunch more conversations. Excitement. Hopefulness. U-turns. More tears. More conversations. Commitments. More prayers. Reading. Phone calls. Research. Emails. More fears. More waiting. Movement. Applications. Training. Prayers. More waiting. Movement again.

Suffice to say, it’s changed and grown…A LOT.

Suffice to say, WE have changed and grown…A LOT. 

And though part of me wishes I could tell you that we have “ALWAYS been called to this path” or “NEVER questioned this choice,” I can’t. And honestly, that’s okay. Because if we were ALWAYS and NEVER, then it wouldn’t be “our story.”

This story-journey of ours has been a lot like making a quilt–piece by piece, color by color, stitch by stitch–and before you know it, the pattern starts taking shape (at least kinda). And that’s where we are today, in the Fall of 2016.

We are standing before a quilt that has a bunch of pieces that are in the beginning stages of becoming something beautiful–a quilting of a story, a growing of a home, a loving of a soul, a following of our Savior.

But before I fill in a few of the story-gaps, let me go ahead and share (before you burst or I bust) that as of right now, the Lord is leading the Buczek family toward Fostering, which will hopefully end in adoption (in His perfect timing, in His perfect way, with His chosen child for us).

Rewind to May 15th, 2016…

We had just returned from church and were having a “snack lunch” around our dining room table when I posed the question.

“So how’s everyone feeling about the possibility of adoption?”

(Now it would be good to note that prior to that Sunday afternoon, we had been seriously considering adoption since about late-February, but had really “upped the ante” when Spring arrived. The Lord was on the move, but we hadn’t…not yet.)

Immediately, Evie launched into a need-to-have list.

“We need paci. We need blankie. We need milky. We need toys. We need diapers…”

My heart melted as I heard her listing off the things we might need.

I turned to Caden.

“So what about you, buddy? What are you thinking and feeling?”

“Well, I’m a little bit nervous.”

“You are? About what?”

“Well, I don’t really know if we have enough.” 

I looked over at Don. His brown eyes were big and his lip started to tremble. Quietly, he got up and walked to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, he started to talk with Caden.

“Buddy, has this refrigerator ever been empty before?”

“No.”

“You’re right. We’ve always had enough.”

Pointing to his room, “Buddy, have you ever had empty drawers of clothes?”

“No.”

“You’re right. We’ve always had enough.”

Pointing to the play corner, “Buddy, have you ever been without toys?”

“No.”

“You’re right. We’ve always had enough.”

And then our strong leader, our tender-hearted daddy,  sat down at the table and started to weep.

And as he wept,  the kids and I sat in humble silence. After a few moments of quiet tears that filled the room, Don cleared his throat and confessed.

“I have to admit, Caden, that I’ve been asking God the very same question.’God, do we have enough?’ I’ve been asking him if we have enough resources, enough money, enough space. And ya know what? To our heavenly father, I probably sound a whole lot like you. And I feel like He is responding to my fears just like I responded to yours. We have never, EVER been without. In fact, we have more than enough.”

I jumped in. “And Caden, I guess I’ve been asking God the same kind of question, too. ‘God, do I have enough energy, enough time, enough love, enough of me?’ I guess I have a lot of fears that sound a whole lot like yours. I guess I’ve also have had the ‘enough question.’ ”

And without missing a beat, Caden replied, “Well, we might not have enough, but God is big love.” 

Immediately, we both cried harder.

Where did he get that?  We never use the phrase, “Big love.” What in the world? Who in the world is talking?

The thoughts were a tumble and a jumble as I sat and cried, attempting to make sense of the answers the Lord was graciously and intentionally bringing in that moment, around that table.

As we gathered ourselves, Caden disappeared from the table.

A few seconds later, he returned with his puppy–his favorite “lovey”–and placed it in the crooks of his daddy’s arms that were folded on the table in front of him.

Again, our boy has never, EVER comforted us with his puppy. He has never, EVER done anything like that.

WHAT IN THE WORLD? 

And as I stared at that puppy, the one with the Christmas hat and the one that has “Jesus Loves Me” scrawled on its belly, it hit me. It hit Don.

Caden had brought his puppy to place in his daddy’s arms…to comfort him..but what is puppy’s name?

Puppy’s name is “Baby.” 

Sitting there at that table, it felt like God had visited. Like He had literally jumped into Caden’s skin and decided to meet us in that moment. Like He had revealed Himself and confirmed our family’s path in a way that never felt so sure.

With red and drippy eyes, Don quietly and very confidently said, “Well, I guess we have our answer. The Buczek family is going to move forward with adoption.”

And what happened next, I will never forget.

Gathering together, on the floor, and in the middle of our tiny dining room, we huddled together as a family of four and prayed for #5.

It was a sweet, sweet time. A moment filled with such love, with such grace, and with such peace. A moment that seemed to be the “conception” of our third baby–a baby that is growing not on the inside, but on the outside…a baby that God is growing on the outside of us, but on the inside of our hearts.

And that is where our journey started (kinda).

So where are we in the process?

Well, we’ve filled out the initial application and paperwork; we’ve started our initial training (36 total hours of classroom time); and now we wait to be placed with a social worker who will start working on our home study. As of now, the paperwork and training process could take anywhere from 4-6 months before a child is placed in our home. And from there, we have NO CLUE what God will choose to “quilt!”

But here is what we DO know.

God is on the move, and He knows.

And because He knows, we can trust that He is “for our good.”

And because He is “for our good,” we can trust Him with our hearts, our home, and the outcome…whatever that may be, whenever that may be, and whomever that may bring to our little, growing pumpkin patch.  

We will most definitely keep you up-to-date on the process and our progress. But in the meantime, would you join with us in praying for our 3rd little pumpkin? The one that is growing on the outside, from the inside!

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4 thoughts on “Our Pumpkin Patch

  1. Beautiful, friend. I am excited to hear and see how God meets this child’s needs through the work He does in you as his/her parents. Love you.

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