38 Things I’d Rather Be Doing than Experiencing the Last Hour of a 9-Hour Road Trip with Small Children

  1. Dental Work
  2. Scrubbing the Mildew Ring in the Tub
  3. Cleaning the stove top…after a STARCH boil-over
  4. Washing Windows…in the rain
  5. Detailing the car
  6. Cleaning out the fridge leftovers…specifically old salmon
  7. Organizing the junk drawer
  8. Removing tags from new clothes
  9. Plucking my eyebrows
  10. Cleaning out the vacuum cannister…with ALL my hair
  11. Weeding dandelions
  12. Washing baseboards
  13. Dusting the tops of fans
  14. Addressing my toe’s ingrown toenail
  15. Taking down the Christmas tree
  16. Refilling ice cube trays
  17. Removing carpet stains
  18. Counting pennies
  19. Rolling pennies
  20. Paying bills
  21. Filing taxes
  22. Shoveling dirt
  23. Removing lava rock
  24. Listening to campaign ads
  25. Emptying my email spam folder
  26. Removing sparkly toenail polish
  27. Washing a frying pan that has been burned with cheesy eggs
  28. Washing three frying pans that have been burned with cheesy eggs
  29. Cleaning bugs out of the car’s grill
  30. Measuring shortening, peanut butter, and honey
  31. Cutting a watermelon followed by cutting a bushel of broccoli
  32. Lint rolling a black shirt
  33. Cleaning lamp shades
  34. Having a GYNO exam
  35. Taping off a room before a paint job
  36. Painting
  37. Removing mold from Camelbak straws
  38. Cleaning out the bottom of the garbage can after a bag leak

And ya know…like pretty much anything else that is tedious, laborious, gross, and mind-numbing that ISN’T driving in a car with two, sweaty, small, and stir-crazy children who have LOST THEIR BLESSED MINDS and can no longer be satisfied by fruit snacks, UMI ZOOMI, and dry erase boards!!!

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One thought on “38 Things I’d Rather Be Doing than Experiencing the Last Hour of a 9-Hour Road Trip with Small Children

  1. Hair in the vacuum is my least favorite thing to do. Absolutely disgusting even though it’s my hair! Are you in NJ?

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