I Haven’t Left the Room

Up and down the stairs, in and out of bedrooms, across the table and around the corners, she asks me the same blessed question over and over…and over and over…and over…AGAIN.

“Mommy, where are you?”

“Mommy, where are you?”

“Mommy, where are you?”

And honestly, it drives me right up the batty wall, back down, and then right back up!

I should probably start counting the number of times she asks it, but I fear that it would send me over the sanity ledge, further reinforcing JUST how many times she poses the question during the course of a day.

I leave the room and head to the bathroom…”Mommy, where are you?”

I close the car door and get in the front seat…”Mommy, where are you?”

I turn the corner out of her sight…”Mommy, where are you?”

It’s non-stop.

And though it makes perfectly good sense why she is asking the question and seeking for reassurance of my presence, I was thrown for a loop earlier this week when she posed the question in front of my face. LITERALLY. In front of my face.

Sure, I wasn’t talking and sure I didn’t appear to be actively engaging with her, but I was THERE–right in her presence! I hadn’t left. I was within ear shot and aware of her presence and position.

“Evie, mommy is right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m still here. RIGHT here. I haven’t moved.” 

As the words fumbled out of my mouth, my heart heard them.

And as quickly as my heart heard them, the Spirit jumped on those words in the way that only He can.

I have dubbed it, “Godly-nagging.”

“Isn’t that the very essence of what you have sometimes asked of me? This question isn’t new, is it?” Jessica, I’ve heard that before–both the uttered question from your mouth and the hushed doubt from your heart. I’ve heard those words, too.”

It was true; it IS true.

Things get hard and messy…”God, where are you?” 

Tasks become frustrating and demanding…”God, where are you?” 

Moments get lonely and confusing…”God, where are you?” 

Relationships become burdensome and tiring…”God, where are you?” 

Situations get unfair and unkind…”God, where are you?” 

Time frames become vague and uncontrolled…”God, where are you?” 

Jobs get discouraging and unfulfilling…”God, where are you?” 

And when I ask that question (uttered or not), I truly believe that on some level, I’m assuming, fearing, and/or believing that God has left the room. That LITERALLY, He’s gone A-WALL and MIA.

But God doesn’t leave His post or abandon His throne…not EVER, not EVEN for a second.

Sure, I don’t always “hear” Him and sure, I don’t always see His hand at work , but that doesn’t imply (not even a little bit) that He isn’t STILL THERE.

Within ear shot and within a glance, He is aware of our presence and our problems.

And I truly believe that if we could hear Him audibly speak to us (not discounting that He could and can still operate in those ways), He would say to our insecure and doubting hearts…

“Child, Daddy is right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m still here. RIGHT here. I haven’t moved.” 

Oh, that we would trust in His ever-faithful, always-constant, forever-aware, never-leaving presence!!!

 

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:1-10
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6 thoughts on “I Haven’t Left the Room

  1. Jessica, I can’t begin to express words that say how much I enjoy all that you write! You are amazing and so creative! You may want to consider writing a book some day either for Moms or little ones! You words always bless me! ❤️‼️😇

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  2. Jessica,
    Ditto what Diedre said.
    Because I can barely write my name and have no ability in weaving a thought provoking story, you amaze me. You take every day experiences and teach us THE lessons. Lessons we learned in the not so very far past or in my case lessons from the very far past. Lessons you reinforce when you use them in a way Only you can. You show us how to apply them in our every day life.
    I don’t know how you have time to write with everything else you do, I’m just thankful YOU DO💞

    • Barb, again…thank you for your constant love and encouragement! When do I find time? Well, this one took all of 50 minutes because it was heavy on my heart! When it’s genuinely from my heart, it doesn’t take long!
      Love you.

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