Weighing in at 23 pounds and measuring a whopping 32 inches (that’s short, people), there is a blonde-headed soul who lives in our house who is a bona fide thrill-seeker.
And every time I think about that, I laugh and think, “How is this even possible that she’s of my flesh and of my blood!?!? HOW is this EVEN possible!?!?”
Literally, no joke…our daughter (the very smallest of us all) is an adventure-finding, bar-swinging, wall-climbing, free-falling, ledge-jumping, risk-taking…wall-walker.
Completely and utterly different from not only myself but also from her older brother, I find myself continuously shocked at the things she attempts and the risks she’s willing to take.
The girl has no fear.
And last week, when I turned my head to locate her whereabouts on the playground, I almost had a panic attack.
Because standing on a wall (a very, VERY tall wall), stood my daughter.
“Evie!!! What in the world are you doing!?!?”
With calmness in her voice and a mile-wide smile, she responded, “I walk the wall, mama…I walk the wall.”
Refusing to let my fears get in her brave way, I stood back and watched her brave little self navigate those tall, narrow blocks. And as I stood and as I watched, I thought about my cautious, ground-loving, risk-assessing self, and I asked myself a heart-whispered question.
“Jessica, why aren’t you a wall-walker?”
As I listed off a battery of reasons as to why I figuratively and proverbially prefer the ground instead of the “walls of life,” I kept running into the same core reason.
It’s. NOT. safe.
And as I thought through a variety of situations in my life where I’m currently being asked and even pushed to “stand on a wall,” I realized that the reason I often feel “unsafe” is because I fear losing control.
Losing control of myself,
losing control of the process,
losing control of perceptions,
losing control of the outcome;
I FEAR the “letting go.”
As I flipped through my mental Rolodex of the things I have recently deemed “scary” and the things I have recently labeled “unsafe” and “unsteady,” I realized (in the middle of that park) that I am believing a distortion and living a misshapen and misconstrued belief.
I am believing, and perceiving, and even WALKING like…
I’m the one who possesses the control.
But if the Gospel has truly penetrated my life and pervaded my soul, I can’t congruently adopt and consciously operate in that distorted way of believing and living.
Because the Gospel asserts and affirms over and over and over again that…
He is the ONE who has AND holds ALL THE CONTROL, ALL THE TIME.
The ONE who created the earth and brought a desert flood…
The ONE who divided the seas and wiped out armies…
The ONE who sent plagues from His throne and food from the skies…
The ONE who brought water from rocks and fires from bushes…
The ONE who brought down fire from heaven and gave voice to a donkey…
The ONE who displaced kings and tore down kingdoms…
The ONE who walked on water and healed the lame…
The ONE who gave sight to the blind and turned water into wine…
The ONE who woke the dead and cast out demons…
The ONE who cleansed the leper and multiplied the loaves…
The ONE who withered the fig tree and calmed the raging storm…
The ONE who endured the cross…
The ONE who escaped the tomb…
The ONE who conquered death…
HE is the ONE, the only ONE.
And when I embrace His sovereign character and rest in His trusted track record, I (too) can “walk the walls,” trusting Him with the process, the perceptions, and the outcomes.
But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
You are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
There is no other God—
there never has been, and there never will be.
I, yes I, am the Lord,
and there is no other Savior
You are witnesses that I am the only God,’
says the Lord.
‘From eternity to eternity I am God.
No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.
No one can undo what I have done.’
-Selections from Isaiah 43