Discipline: 15 Reasons Why We Choose to Love You

This weekend, after making the difficult and yet loving choice to discipline you, you asked us if we loved you.

In short, you were asking, “If you loved me, why would you choose to discipline me?” 

And though it probably hurts us more than it hurts you and though you can’t possibly understand all the reasons why disciplining you is a loving act, we want you to know a few things about why your daddy and I have chosen to love you and your sister in this way.

  1. We have been tasked by God to teach you right from wrong; to allow you to sin without any consequence, would be an active choice on our part to disobey and sin against God.
  2. We want you to understand that warnings are not to be pushed aside, ignored, or taken lightly.
  3. We want you to understand that your actions have consequences, and sometimes they are painful.
  4. We want you to understand that though there is grace for your mistakes and your mis-steps, sin is not something that any of us should tolerate or take lightly.
  5. We want you to understand that your life will be filled with authority figures who will sometimes require you to do things that you do not like or understand but have been called to respect.
  6. We care about the other people in your life who will have to be around you…your coaches, your teammates, your teachers, your classmates, your friends, your friends’ parents, your church leaders, etc….and we know that it’s not enjoyable to be around a soul who disregards the rules and defies the expectations.
  7. We want you to understand the value and importance of limits and boundaries.
  8. We care about your safety and the safety of others.
  9. We want you to understand that you have control over the choices you make and the impulses you have.
  10. We want you to understand that it’s possible to be in a loving, supportive, and safe relationship with people who will also “call you out” on your junk.
  11. We want you to care about your behavior, and we want you to think about the issues of the heart and mind that affects your behavior.
  12. We want you to understand that you are not the only person in your universe.
  13. We want you to understand that your actions aren’t made and played out in a vacuum; your actions can hurt others, too.
  14. We want you to understand that because you are going to continuously fall short and constantly be tempted to make sinful choices, you need the help and intervention of a Savior.
  15. In the end, we want you to know that your parents loved you so much that they were willing to do the hard, the unpopular, and the”not-so-fun” things in life because we care about yours.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

…he who loves [his children] is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

Train up a child in the way he should go…. Proverbs 22:6


2 thoughts on “Discipline: 15 Reasons Why We Choose to Love You

  1. I just had a similar conversation with our eldest child about why discipline shows that we love her (and her siblings). Since she was not being disciplined at the time, it was a fun/deep conversation to have. Thanks for posting.

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