I’m not exactly sure where it all started but at some point in my parenting journey, I started to become obsessed with my “me-time.”
What is “me-time?”
Glad you asked.
“Me-Time” is the small window of time between the hours of 2:30ish and 4:30ish when my cherubs are in a napping coma, and I’m peacefully drinking a cup of coffee, reading my Bible, scrolling through Facebook, washing my hair, painting my nails, responding to e-mails, writing a blog post kinda like this one, or simply sitting in a state of blissful solitude where no one is whining at me, crawling on me, or talking to me.
THAT is “me-time.”
Are you tracking???
If so, can I get a “me-time” AMEN?!?!?
AMEN! AMEN!! AMEN!!!
I’ve tried to identify where these weeds got their start, but I’m really not sure.
Was it when #2 arrived or when #1 started to require more mental energy? Was it when #2 gave up her morning nap, or when #1 increased his vocabulary by 3,460 words? Or was it when #1 and #2 joined forces to see if they could drive their mama to the brink of crazy?
I really don’t know, but let’s just say…the soil was crazy-ripe, and it happened somewhere between #1 and #2.
And though the Lord has tried to gently and graciously point out the ways I’ve been building, buffing, and even bowing to this idol of “me-time,” it wasn’t until recently that He finally cracked me over the head with my own idol.
Now, before I go further and give specifics as to how this whole “me-time” became an idol in my life, let me say (LOUD AND CLEAR)…
TAKING TIME FOR YOU IS NOT A SIN. IN FACT, TAKING TIME FOR YOU CAN ACTUALLY BE A GOOD, AND HEALTHY, AND RIGHTEOUS THING. IN FACT, NOT TAKING TIME FOR YOU CAN ACTUALLY BE A BAD, AND UNHEALTHY, AND UNRIGHTEOUS THING (I’ll save that last thought for another blog post).
But something that started out as a good, healthy, and righteous thing has slowly morphed into something that hasn’t been so good, so healthy, and so righteous for me.
Let me explain…
On the days when #2 decides that she is going to fight her nap because she would rather be downstairs on my lap and in my arms, consequently interfering with my small window of “me-time,” I get all huffy and puffy.
On the days when #1 needs a drink, a small snack, and a no-monster reassurance hug, consequently interrupting my small window of “me-time,” I get all testy and ticked.
On the days when #2 falls asleep for 17 minutes in the car and then forgoes her two-hour nap, consequently imposing on my small window of “me-time,” I get all mad and mean.
On the days when #1 takes a little longer to do his pre-school work which then takes up some of his nap time, consequently impacting my small window of “me-time,” I get all petulant and prickly.
On the days when #1 or #2 does ANYTHING that interferes, interrupts, imposes, or impacts my small window of “me-time,” I get all grumpy and grouchy.
And when I get all huffy and puffy, testy and ticked, mad and mean, petulant and prickly, grumpy and grouchy, I am being SINCERELY SINFUL.
Because somewhere in my parenting journey, I have started to believe a handful of lies.
I have started to believe the lie that I am rightfully entitled to my “me-time” every single day at the very same time.
I have started to believe the lie that because I’ve taken care of these kids (the ones with a bunch of needs, a ton of wants, and a fair amount of gripes) all day long, I deserve a time and a place that is completely mine.
I have started to believe the lie that I must have my “me-time” if I want to be happy, peaceful, and content.
And when I don’t get what I think I am entitled to, and what I think I rightfully deserve, and what I think I must have, then I believe it’s perfectly okay for me to get all huffy and puffy, testy and ticked, mad and mean, petulant and prickly, grumpy and grouchy.
So when I slammed a bedroom door this week in a sincerely, sinful huff because #2 wouldn’t close his blessed eyes and stop calling for me over the blessed monitor, I was suddenly convicted that I had been making this “me-time” thing the most- important thing.
Ever-so subtly and ever-so sinfully, I had been worshiping the idol of “2:30ish-4:30ish.”
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God…
Though I may not have been physically bowing or tangibly serving the idol of “me-time,” the Spirit was gracious to reveal the many ways where I had been rearranging my days, rushing my plans, and re-ordering my values in order to set apart that “me-time” as holy, revered, and treasured above all.
So what do I do now?
Do I kick nap time to the curb? Absolutely not.
Do I throw “me-time” to the birds? No.
Do I berate myself for being a fallen sinner? Nah.
I confess my sins;
I ask for forgiveness; and
I plead with God to graciously help me to put and keep HIM in HIS rightful place…the place where real happiness, true peace, and complete contentment lie.