Mama, They Don’t Have to Understand

Dear Mama,

You’re going to make a bunch of decisions and choose a bunch of different paths that they wouldn’t choose and they wouldn’t make, and that’s okay.

Because…

They don’t have to appreciate your desires, value your opinions, or give merit to your preferences.

They don’t need to validate your profession, your frustrations, or your ambitions.

They don’t need to agree on how you spend your money, order your day, and schedule your life.

They don’t have to understand your decision to work full-time, part-time, or stay at home.

They don’t need to be okay with your ideas on nap time, play time, or lunch time.

They don’t have to grasp your decisions about weaning, cleaning, and television screening.

They don’t need to comprehend why you require your children to eat what they eat or sleep where they sleep.

They don’t have to support your choice to do public-school, bottle-feed, or vaccinate your baby.

They don’t need to make sense of your dreams, your callings, and your ideas.

They don’t have to like the ways you discipline, the ways you relax, or the ways you care for your family.

They don’t need to approve of your Facebook use, your Pinterest use, or your Target use.

They don’t have to share your values, your fears, or even your convictions.

They don’t have to trust your feelings, condone your actions, or make sense of your thoughts.

They don’t need to “get it,” back it, or love it.

Because…

You don’t need to seek their consent, their approval, and their agreement.

You don’t have to justify your choices, defend your reasoning, or rationalize your thinking.

You don’t need them to “sign off” on what you’re doing, believe in what you’re doing, or follow what you are doing.

You don’t have to explain your child, clarify your positions, or demonstrate your competence.

You don’t need anyone to admire, acknowledge, or allow you to do what you decide to do.

You don’t have to second-guess, re-think, or re-arrange your priorities, goals, or dreams.

You don’t need to convince anyone, appease anyone, or sway anyone.

You don’t have to describe your methods, excuse your plans, or change your approach.

You don’t need to worry, doubt, or fear though they may worry, doubt, and fear.

You don’t have to have your decisions affirmed, your choices liked, or your paths applauded.

You don’t need to be persuaded or controlled by their advice, their opinions, and their beliefs.

Because though the advice, opinions, and beliefs of others can provide necessary accountability, healthy unity, and biblical community, there is only ONE who always needs to understand, validate, like, agree, appreciate, grasp, comprehend, support, approve, share, and trust your choices, your decisions, your reasoning, your thinking, your paths, your positions, your methods, your approach, your priorities, your goals, and your dreams.

  • For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? Galatians 1:10
  • So we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4
  • The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Proverbs 29:25
  • Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23
  • Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he? Isaiah 2:22

So when you forget this and are tempted to worry about what others think, and you begin to doubt what you have chosen to do, remember…there is only ONE who needs to “get it,” back it, love it, and be okay with it. 

Love,

A Fellow Mama

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2 thoughts on “Mama, They Don’t Have to Understand

  1. “Because though the advice, opinions, and beliefs of others can provide necessary accountability, healthy unity, and biblical community, there is only ONE who always needs to understand, validate, like, agree, appreciate, grasp, comprehend, support, approve, share, and trust your choices, your decisions, your reasoning, your thinking, your paths, your positions, your methods, your approach, your priorities, your goals, and your dreams.”

    WORD.

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