There are certain conversations between my husband and I that I want my kids to be privy to, and last night’s conversation was one of them.
So if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go ahead and address this blog post to our Evie-girl because I’m thinking that one day, she may want this memory personalized.
Many nights after you and your brother go to bed, Daddy and I talk.
We talk about our days–the good, the bad, and the ugly. We talk about the news, the silly stuff that makes us laugh, and the frustrating things that annoy us. We talk about our struggles, and we talk about our plans for tomorrow. We talk about you kids, and we talk about our hopes for the future. We talk about what God’s doing, what He’s done, and what we hope He will do. We talk a lot.
And last night was no different.
Daddy was talking about the kind of man that he would want you to marry someday.
But wait, before we go any further, let me make something perfectly clear. There is NO expectation for you to get married. We know that God has a perfect plan for you and that may or may not involve marriage. If you get married, great. If you don’t get married, great. If you want to get married and you aren’t yet, we are here to walk that journey with you. We love you and want what God wants for you, marriage or not.
Now, back to what I was saying about your Daddy’s hopes should you one day get married…
As Daddy shared the dreams he has for you and the man he desires for you, the following is an excerpt of what he said to me last night:
When I think about the man I would want to marry my daughter, the more it becomes obvious that I want a ‘perfect’ husband for her. I know that’s not realistic, but I want those things for her. And when I think about that long list I have in mind for Evie’s future husband, I think about myself, and I wonder, ‘Am I the kind of man to my father-in-law’s daughter that I want for my own daughter? Am I THAT husband?’ And when I think about that, I realize that we all fall short of ‘perfection.’ So, I guess what we really need to do… is to be the most like Jesus we can be…because what our daughters and wives really need is more of Jesus.
Evie, as I sat there and listened to your daddy’s tender heart, I realized he was absolutely right.
We, women, can have our check-lists of what we want our man to look like, act like, and be like, and though he may meet some of our criterion (and rightfully should), he’s never going to be everything we want or need him to be.
He is never going to be the PERFECT MAN.
Because he isn’t supposed to be.
And try as we might (trust me, I’ve tried), it will never, ever work.
Because it isn’t supposed to work.
Because there is only one man who was ever meant to fill that need in our lives, and that was the GOD-MAN.
“For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many ‘gods’ and many ‘lords’— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.” 1 Corinthians 8:5-6
You can find a man who will wash the dishes, clean the bathroom, and take out the trash, but he will never be God.
You can find a man who will listen to you, provide for you, and treat you like a ‘princess,’ but he will never be God.
You can find a man who will work hard, multi-task well, and treat others with respect, but he will never be God.
You can find a man who will father like a champ, love like an all-star, and lead like Superman, but he will never be God.
You can even find a man that looks a whole lot like God (and that is absolutely great), but he will never be God.
And that is perfectly okay.
Because he’s not supposed to be your God, he’s supposed to be your man.
“He is God; there is no other besides Him.” Deuteronomy 4:35
“O Lord God; for there is none like You, and there is no God besides You.” 2 Samuel 7:22
“Before Me there was no God formed, and there will be none after Me.” Isaiah 43:10
Evie, we love you with all our hearts and truly desire for you to marry a man who loves our God, pushes you toward our God, and lets our God be your God.
Daddy and Mommy