A List of 31 Smiles

1. “Mommy, you need to put away your fart candles!”

2. “Mommy, I don’t really want Evie to grow up because I like my toys to be alone.”

3. (Not wanting to do something): “Well, I can’t really do that because my gums are getting new teeth in them.”

4. (In reference to my bra): “Mommy, do you wear that thing so they don’t fall out and trip you on the floor?”

5. “How about you make dinner, and I play with Daddy. That sounds like a good idea, huh?!”

6. (After asking him to clean up his room): “Well, I kinda like the mess. It feels cozy in here.”

7. (Farting as he walks): “Oh man! That feels so good.”

8. (After exiting the bathroom): “Oh, Mommy, my pee is SO glad I rushed.”

9. “If I can’t have cheese, can I have something that’s really cheesy?”

10. (Pointing in the toilet): “Look, Mommy! This one is standing up like a tall tree!”

11. “Mommy, you be Spider Man’s girl and just stay at home and make pancakes. K?”

12. (Talking himself off a ledge at a play date): “It’s okay. Some kids are really loud and some are really quiet. We’re all different. It’s okay.”

13. “Let’s just skip the library. Those kids are kinda obnoxious anyway.”

14. (After asking him about why the toilet paper was a mess): “Oh, I just put my hands in the toilet, but it’s okay, Mommy. It’s okay.”

15. (Attempting to fix a toy): “Let’s just wait until Daddy gets home, and he can fix it. He knows how to do it.”

16. (Deciding what to make for breakfast): “I really just like bacon. That’s all.”

17. “Mommy and Daddy, please get off my bed. You’re going to break it!”

18. “I’m not a sir. I don’t have a mustache.”

19. “Mommy, you’re awesome and pretty and Daddy is pretty and awesome.”

20. (Upon trying to find his blankie after a play date): “Oh, it’s over there. I put it over that toy, so they couldn’t find it.”

21. “Mommy, please stop kissing me. Your air is really stinky.”

22. (While changing Evie’s diaper): “Oh man! It smells like a Jessica in here!”

23. “Girls do weird things like spin in a circle.”

24. “I think I’ll be an Eagle player because the Steelers were slackin’.”

25. “No, let’s not do that responsibility thing. I’m not old enough for that yet.”

26. (Overhearing Don and I have a heated discussion): “God’s rule is no arguin’.”

27. (Deciding which game to play): “Well, I don’t like to lose, so I think I’ll just play alone.”

28. “Mommy, you just stay in the bedroom, and I’m going to take lion out here with the scissors.”

29. “I’m a grown-up, Mommy. I don’t need these kid speeches.”

30. “I think I need another Pez to help my belly.”

31. “Those rules make me angry, so let’s make new ones.”

So how do I stay sane in January when the doors are shut, the noses are running, the whining is immense, and the walls are caving?

I laugh…A LOT.

Picture Credit: A Meltdown (not to be confused with the melting of snow)

(#28: Apparently he was a little distraught when I thwarted his plans to chop lion’s mane.)


14 thoughts on “A List of 31 Smiles

  1. Sophia is all about super powers! She screams from the bathroom, “Mommy, I just used my super powers to push out a giant poop!”

  2. My favorite has to be the one about your bra- totally familiar lol. Caleb Has Recently learned how to lie, which is hard not to laugh at bc he’s so bad at it! Like when he wants a toy Emma has: “emma telled me I could have it. Yes she said (in a high voice) ‘sure Caleb you can have it!, ” Emma is one. She doesn’t talk:-)

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