1. There was an evening my voice hurt when I went to bed…because I had yelled super loud earlier in the morning.
2. There was a time when I opted for an hour-long drive…because I just didn’t want to be around my family.
3. There were a bunch of moments when I wished I was still working…because I didn’t want to deal with discipline.
4. There was a morning when I put on the television for WAY too long…because I didn’t want to engage.
5. There was an afternoon when I skipped pages in the story and pretended I didn’t…because I was beyond ready for nap time.
6. There was a time when I made him change his favorite shirt…because I was worried about others’ thoughts.
7. There were times when I turned off the monitor and ignored the cry…because I was deliberately choosing selfishness.
8. There were moments when I was lazy and passed on opportunities to serve…because I had no desire to put them first at the cost of me.
9. There were several meals where I skipped the prayer…because I just didn’t want to make time for it.
10. There was a dinner when I gave him less on his plate…because I didn’t want to deal with the fight.
11. There was an evening where I took over the discipline…because I didn’t think Daddy was doing it right.
12. There were moments when I didn’t tell him the truth…because I didn’t feel like explaining the real reason.
13. There were a couple times when I was annoyed that he was the shy one…because it takes more work on my part.
14. There were a bunch of moments when I didn’t model my own teaching…because I was choosing sin.
15. There was an afternoon in Target where I squeezed a hand too hard…because I was frustrated and fed-up.
16. There were a couple mornings where I woke up annoyed, irritated, and even a little resentful…because my sleep-time was being interrupted.
17. Oh…and then there were a whole BOATLOAD of moments while writing this that I wanted to scrap it all…because I really don’t want to BE imperfect.
Oh, and those are only my “Mom confessions” (that come to mind) from last week! I’ll save my “Wife Confessions” for another day when I have a lot more energy and a bigger piece of paper.
So what do I do with all of these imperfect moments and hard-to-utter confessions?
Well, here’s where I’m choosing to start…
I’m embracing this Truth:
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” -1 John 1:8
There’s no need to pretend I’ve got it all together because I don’t. And if I try to pretend…well, then I guess I’m a liar, too. Oh wait, Confession # 12 already revealed I’m a liar.
I’m remembering this Truth:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”-1 John 1:9
Confessing to God brings me forgiveness, freedom, and a safe place to say, “I’m sorry, Lord. I sinned against you and fell short of your standards…again. Would you help me choose YOU instead of ME?”
Confessing to the ones I’ve wronged allows space for reconciliation, renewed relationship, and the room to say, “I’ve wronged you, and I’m sorry. I dropped the ball and hurt you. Will you forgive me?”
Confessing to others fosters accountability, community, and an opportunity to say, “Hey, me too! You’re not alone in your imperfection.”
And I’m clinging to this Truth:
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” -2 Corinthians 12:8-9
This IMPERFECT soul (who is also terribly insufficient and weak) is most definitely in need of His most PERFECT grace (like ALL the time and in EVERY situation).